Posted by The Love Birds at 31 August , 2010

This month, as Cal Exotics Sexperts™, we were sent another great new product to review.   Each product will be rated, by our testers (a couple), using The Love Bird’s Feathers Rating Scale™:

1    = ”not so hot”  to

5   = “extremely hot”  

“The hotter the product is, the more feathers it will take to cool you off!” 

The new product we received is called the Amante™.  Check out our video review of this discrete remote control bullet:  Amante. 

 

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Posted by The Love Birds at 26 July , 2010

This month, as Cal Exotics Sexperts™, we were sent another great new product to review.   Each product will be rated, by our testers (a couple), using The Love Bird’s Feathers Rating Scale™:

1   = ”not so hot”  to

5   = “extremely hot”  

“The hotter the product is, the more feathers it will take to cool you off!” 

 

The new product we received is called the Lil Teaser Dotty™.  Check out our video review of this very cute but extremely powerful petite massager:  Lil Teaser Dotty video review.

 

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Posted by The Love Birds at 28 June , 2010

This month, as Cal Exotics Sexperts™, we were sent another great new product to review.   Each product will be rated, by our testers (a couple), using The Love Bird’s Feathers Rating Scale™:

1   = ”not so hot”  to

5   = “extremely hot”  

“The hotter the product is, the more feathers it will take to cool you off!” 

The new product we received is called the Power Bumper™.  On the package it states, “Take me home!  I’m super-charged and intensely powerful!”  This looks like a very powerful vibrator.  To us, it looks very similar to the Rabbit vibrator in it’s shape and design.  However, this vibrator comes with “love bumps” all over it, providing extra stimulation.   It’s soft to the touch, unscented and yes, water proof!   The shaft has 4 rows of floating pleasure beads that rotates.   The Power Bumper™ has 2 speeds of intense vibration that cause the rabbit ears to vibrate for clitoral stimulation.   It has 4 easy to push buttons (vibration, spin, hi/lo – for vibration and reverse -for spin). 

The Power Bumper™  requires 4 AA batteries and only comes in the color pink.  The vibrator measures 5.25 inches long, 1.50 inches wide and weighs 9.60 oz.    It’s recommended that you use a water-based lubricant with this vibrator. 

So, what did our testers say?  Overall, the couple said they liked the Power Bumper™.  They also like the Rabbit, thus they liked the similar look and design of this vibrator.  They also enjoyed the fact that it’s waterproof.

Therefore, we gave it .   You will need all 4 feathers to help cool you off!

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Posted by The Love Birds at 7 June , 2010

As Clinical Sexologists, we have heard quite a few sex-defeating thoughts from couples over the years.  We have heard everything from “My partner should just know how to please me” to “Sex should always happen spontaneously” and everything in between.   Sex-defeating thoughts can come from anywhere (i.e. from your childhood, religion, past sexual experiences, etc.) and can really affect your sexuality.  Remember, your thoughts cause your feelings and behaviors.  Thus, if you have sex-defeating thoughts, then you will have negative feelings about sex which will, of course, impact your sexual behavior.   

So, what can you do about it?  Well, you can certainly ignore them or hope they will go away on their own.  Or you can choose to keep them, especially if you feel they are not creating problems for you.  But if they are creating problems for you, then you can choose to change them.  Here are 5 steps (the 5 R’s) to help you conquer sex-defeating thoughts:

1. Recognize – First, you need to become aware of your thoughts about sex.  As you think about sex or being sexual, simply allow your thoughts to surface and then, write them all down. 
2. Review – Next, go through your list of thoughts and decide which ones are negative and sex-defeating.  To help you decide, ask yourself, “Does this thought help me feel positively about sex or does it create negative feelings about sex?” and “Is this thought based on fact or is it an assumption?”  If the thought is creating negative feelings about sex, is causing a problem for you or is based on an assumption, then it is sex-defeating.
3. Replace – Third, challenge the sex-defeating thoughts and replace it with sex-positive thoughts that help you with your sexual goals/vision.
4. Repetition– Next, say the new sex-positive thoughts to yourself daily (often and consistently).
5. Relay – Lastly, it may be helpful to talk to your partner about this process.  Or better yet, do this exercise with your partner.  Your partner may be able to help you recognize and challenge the sex-defeating thoughts.   

 

If you need help with this process, please feel free to contact us.  As always, wishing you more passion and connection in your relationship!

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Posted by The Love Birds at 23 May , 2010

1. Having negative/self-defeating thoughts about sex – These negative/self-defeating thoughts can come from anywhere (i.e. from your childhood, religion, past sexual experiences, etc.) and can really affect your sexuality.  Remember, your thoughts cause your feelings and behaviors.  Thus, if you have negative thoughts about sex, you will have negative feelings about sex which will impact your sexual behavior. 

2. Focusing solely on performance and functioning – Too often, too much focus and emphasis is placed on sexual performance (such as “Am I doing this right?” or “Is this how it’s supposed to be done?”) and functioning (such as “I must have an erection every time.”, “I must make this last a long time.”, and “An orgasm has to happen every single time.”).   This can create undue pressure which can then, cause problems in your sexuality.  Remember, our bodies are not perfect and will not work perfectly all the time and in every situation.  Thus, expecting perfection in our sexual performance and functioning will only lead to frustration and disappointment (see number 1 above).  Instead, focus on the joy, fun and pleasure of sex.  

3. Not owning your sexuality - It’s so easy to make your partner responsible for your sexuality.  However, the truth is, YOU are responsible for your sexuality.  You are responsible for whether or not you have an orgasm.  It’s your responsibility to know your body and what feels good to you along with your sexual desires.  It’s also your responsibility to share your desires with your partner.  Making your partner responsible for your sexuality or even blaming your partner for sexual issues can create major problems in your relationship.

4. Not talking to your partner about sex – We are always amazed at how many people are comfortable having sex (in fact, lots of sex) but are uncomfortable talking about sex in this country.   It’s like there is an unspoken rule:  “Do it but don’t talk about it”.  If you can’t comfortably and openly talk to your partner about sex, then you probably shouldn’t be having sex. 

5. Not making sex a priority – Sadly, with many couples, sex is not a priority.  Even worse, the relationship itself is not even a priority.  Our favorite quote sums it up: “Where the attention goes, the energy flows”.  If you want a healthy sex life in your relationship, then put more attention and focus into it.  Make it a priority! 

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Posted by The Love Birds at 10 May , 2010

This month, as Cal Exotics Sexperts™, we were sent another great new product to review.   Each product will be rated, by our testers (a couple), using The Love Bird’s Feathers Rating Scale™:

 

1   = ”not so hot”  to

5   = “extremely hot”  

 

“The hotter the product is, the more feathers it will take to cool you off!” 

 

The new product we received is called Lia Magic Wand™.  This is a very gentle and nice looking vibrator.  It’s soft to the touch, flexible and seamless. But don’t let all of that fool you!  It has an “extreme power motor” that includes 10 functions of vibration, pulsation, and escalation.  It has 2 soft touch buttons (an EZ on/off button and a function button).  It is waterproof and unscented and has a sensual “G” contour.

The Lia Magic Wand™ is made of “pure silicone” and requires only 2 AA batteries.  The vibrator measures 6.5 inches long, 1.25 inches wide and weighs 3.60 oz.   The Lia Magic Wand™ comes in 3 colors to choose from: pink, white and purple.  It’s recommended that you use a water-based lubricant with this vibrator. 

So, what did our testers say?  Overall, they said they really liked the Lia Magic Wand™.  They liked the look and softness of this vibrator as well as the ease of use.  It’s non-threatening and has many uses (both vaginal and clitoral stimulation).  They also liked the fact that it’s waterproof, very light and flexible. 

Therefore, we gave it .   You will need all 5 feathers to help cool you off!

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