1    = ”not so hot”  to

5   = “extremely hot”  

“The hotter the product is, the more feathers it will take to cool you off!” 

The new product we received is called the Amante™.  Check out our video review of this discrete remote control bullet:  Amante. 

1. Agreement = good communication and disagreement = bad communication.

2. My partner would agree if he/she would JUST listen (better).

3. Yelling, or raising my voice, will make my partner listen (better) which will then help them understand and agree with me.

4. Name calling or use of threats is the ONLY WAY to make my partner take notice of me and listen (better) which will then help them understand and agree with me.

5. It is better to not talk about difficult things with my partner so we won’t disagree and cause conflict.

6. The concerns or problems I have will just go away on their own.

Do you recognize any of these?  Do they sound familiar?  If you or your partner has any of these assumptions, then now is the time to challenge those beliefs and do something different that will benefit your relationship.  Here are some healthy basic communication tips you can start using today:

1. First, before you jump right into a discussion, we recommend that you check in with your partner to see if it’s a good time to talk.  For example, it is typically not a good idea to bring up issues when your partner first walks in the door from work.  If it is not a good time, then schedule the time to talk.

2. Focus on ONE issue or concern at a time.   Often people start with one issue and then start adding in other issues including things from the past that are sometimes not even related to the main issue.  Be careful and mindful of this…it’s a very slippery slope!

3. When bringing up an issue or concern to your partner, use “I statements”.  This allows you to own your feelings and decreases the chance of your partner becoming defensive.  For example, say “I felt _________ when you said or did___________.”; instead of “YOU made me so (angry, sad, etc)!”

4. If the issue or concern has to do with your partner, focus on their behavior that is problematic.  Please do not attack them as a person. 

5. Make requests for change, not demands.

6. Try to discuss issues and concerns as they come up or in a timely manner instead of bottling them up and using them for an attack later.

7. Remember that everyone has their own beliefs, thoughts, perceptions, feelings, and “truths” regarding an issue or concern.  Thus, when listening to your partner, get curious about their “truth” instead of trying to convince them that your “truth” is more “true” or important.

8. When listening to your partner, remind yourself that you did not (and cannot ever) cause your partner’s feelings.  Thus, there is no need to get defensive.  They are just revealing and expressing their perceptions, feelings and “truths” to you.

9. Ask questions, if needed, to help you understand your partner’s perception of the issue/concern.

10. Then once you understand, sum it up and let them know you got it!  Remember, understanding their perception and “truth” does NOT mean agreement on your part.

  
Practice using these tips on daily basis with neutral conversations (i.e. your day at work, your dreams in life, etc.).  Please do not wait to try them out during your next argument.  Remember the saying, “Practice makes perfect”.  If you find you need help with these communication skills, please feel free to contact us to schedule an appointment.  We hope this helps!

1   = ”not so hot”  to

5   = “extremely hot”  

“The hotter the product is, the more feathers it will take to cool you off!” 

The new product we received is called the Lil Teaser Dotty™.  Check out our video review of this very cute but extremely powerful petite massager:  Lil Teaser Dotty video review.

1   = ”not so hot”  to

5   = “extremely hot”  

“The hotter the product is, the more feathers it will take to cool you off!” 

The new product we received is called the Power Bumper™.  On the package it states, “Take me home!  I’m super-charged and intensely powerful!”  This looks like a very powerful vibrator.  To us, it looks very similar to the Rabbit vibrator in it’s shape and design.  However, this vibrator comes with “love bumps” all over it, providing extra stimulation.   It’s soft to the touch, unscented and yes, water proof!   The shaft has 4 rows of floating pleasure beads that rotates.   The Power Bumper™ has 2 speeds of intense vibration that cause the rabbit ears to vibrate for clitoral stimulation.   It has 4 easy to push buttons (vibration, spin, hi/lo – for vibration and reverse -for spin). 

The Power Bumper™  requires 4 AA batteries and only comes in the color pink.  The vibrator measures 5.25 inches long, 1.50 inches wide and weighs 9.60 oz.    It’s recommended that you use a water-based lubricant with this vibrator. 

So, what did our testers say?  Overall, the couple said they liked the Power Bumper™.  They also like the Rabbit, thus they liked the similar look and design of this vibrator.  They also enjoyed the fact that it’s waterproof.

Therefore, we gave it .   You will need all 4 feathers to help cool you off!

So, what can you do about it?  Well, you can certainly ignore them or hope they will go away on their own.  Or you can choose to keep them, especially if you feel they are not creating problems for you.  But if they are creating problems for you, then you can choose to change them.  Here are 5 steps (the 5 R’s) to help you conquer sex-defeating thoughts:

1. Recognize – First, you need to become aware of your thoughts about sex.  As you think about sex or being sexual, simply allow your thoughts to surface and then, write them all down. 
2. Review – Next, go through your list of thoughts and decide which ones are negative and sex-defeating.  To help you decide, ask yourself, “Does this thought help me feel positively about sex or does it create negative feelings about sex?” and “Is this thought based on fact or is it an assumption?”  If the thought is creating negative feelings about sex, is causing a problem for you or is based on an assumption, then it is sex-defeating.
3. Replace – Third, challenge the sex-defeating thoughts and replace it with sex-positive thoughts that help you with your sexual goals/vision.
4. Repetition– Next, say the new sex-positive thoughts to yourself daily (often and consistently).
5. Relay – Lastly, it may be helpful to talk to your partner about this process.  Or better yet, do this exercise with your partner.  Your partner may be able to help you recognize and challenge the sex-defeating thoughts.   

If you need help with this process, please feel free to contact us.  As always, wishing you more passion and connection in your relationship!

1   = ”not so hot”  to

5   = “extremely hot”  

“The hotter the product is, the more feathers it will take to cool you off!” 

The new product we received is called Lia Magic Wand™.  This is a very gentle and nice looking vibrator.  It’s soft to the touch, flexible and seamless. But don’t let all of that fool you!  It has an “extreme power motor” that includes 10 functions of vibration, pulsation, and escalation.  It has 2 soft touch buttons (an EZ on/off button and a function button).  It is waterproof and unscented and has a sensual “G” contour.

The Lia Magic Wand™ is made of “pure silicone” and requires only 2 AA batteries.  The vibrator measures 6.5 inches long, 1.25 inches wide and weighs 3.60 oz.   The Lia Magic Wand™ comes in 3 colors to choose from: pink, white and purple.  It’s recommended that you use a water-based lubricant with this vibrator. 

So, what did our testers say?  Overall, they said they really liked the Lia Magic Wand™.  They liked the look and softness of this vibrator as well as the ease of use.  It’s non-threatening and has many uses (both vaginal and clitoral stimulation).  They also liked the fact that it’s waterproof, very light and flexible. 

Therefore, we gave it .   You will need all 5 feathers to help cool you off!

1   = ”not so hot”  to

5   = “extremely hot”  

“The hotter the product is, the more feathers it will take to cool you off!” 

The new product we received is called Calla Lily™. At first glance, this toy reminded us of The White Stork™ we received months ago.  It has a very similar look.  On the package, it states, “Experience love of serenity and pureness with this beautiful Calla Lily that brings incredible pleasure and inspires health and happiness.” 

This is a waterproof vibrator with a clitoral stimulator with an “intensely powerful” micro-bullet (stated for “amazing G-Spot arousal”).  When we first saw this vibrator, we knew it would have some power.  It has 8 speeds of both shaft rotation (yes, the shaft rotates!) and clitoral vibration, each having 3 functions (vibration, pulsation, and escalation).  This vibrator also has a “sensuous soft shape” and a “full contact stimulating petal” for clitoral stimulation. 

The Calla Lily™ is made of “hygienically superior unscented TPR material” and requires 3 AA batteries.  The shaft measures 5.5 inches and weighs 9.60 oz.   It has LED lights and an automatic on/off button.  It’s recommended that you use a water-based lubricant with this vibrator. 

So, what did our testers say?  Overall, they said they really enjoyed the Calla Lily™ and gave it  .   You will need all 4 feathers to help cool you off!

Using the example above, we woke up with the belief that the day would not be good and noticed all the evidence that confirmed our belief about the day.   There may have been several situations that have disconfirmed our belief, but we simply overlook or ignore them.  This bias can impact many areas of our life including our relationships.  Just think about it.  For instance, if you believe your partner is lazy and uncaring, then you will have the tendency to notice and focus only on the situations that prove your belief (“See, he/she is really lazy and uncaring!”).  You do this instead of checking to see if your belief is false.  So, based on this concept, here’s our relationship challenge for the month: 

1. First, become aware of any negative beliefs you have about your partner.
2. Then, challenge yourself (really challenge yourself!) to look for evidence or proof that disproves or contradicts your negative beliefs. This helps you test your beliefs about your partner. 
3. Finally, when you find proof that disproves your beliefs, let them know you noticed the good stuff they are doing!  Acknowledge and thank them.
4. If you have difficulty with this challenge or feel your negative beliefs about your partner are true and you need help, please feel free to contact us.

Wishing you more connection and passion!  Please feel free to contact us with topics you would like us to address.

Many blessings! 

1   = ”not so hot”  to

5   = “extremely hot”  

“The hotter the product is, the more feathers it will take to cool you off!” 

This month we are reviewing a new product called ”Ecstasy”.   Ecstasy is an “elegantly understated” personal dual massager from California Exotic Novelties’ Petite Couture Collection™.  “Elegance, power, innovation and passion inspired the Couture Collection™”.  This product is great! 

It is made from “the finest medical grade Silicone from Japan”.  It has a sleek power pack that shows the seven functions of stimulation (vibration, pulsation and escalation) as well as three speeds of shaft rotation.  It has “feather touch controls with luminous light”.  The Ecstasy is 4.75 inches long and weighs 8 oz.  It takes 3 AAA batteries and has an automatic on/off button. 

It’s soft, pliable, flexible and unscented.  And another bonus…it’s water proof which can take bath time to a whole new and fun level!   According to the package, “Couture’ is simply the best”.  And we happen to agree!! 

Therefore, we give the Ecstasy™:   !   It’s extremely hot!!