Posted by The Love Birds at 2 June , 2009

In May, Dr. Wayne Dyer launched his new book, Excuses Begone! How to Change Lifelong, Self-Defeating Thinking Habits. This is a wonderful book about how your excuses hold you back from living the kind of life you want to live. “It’s too risky.” “I’m too busy.” “I can’t afford it.” “All excuses are misalignments,” Wayne says. “You can indeed change anything about yourself. Don’t underestimate your own personal ability to make just that happen.”

How does this relate to relationships? Well, unfortunately, everyday we hear all kinds of excuses from couples that are preventing them from reaching their relationship goals. This is so sad because the majority of these couples have the desire and ability to change but get stopped short by their excuses and negative thinking. Thus, in honor of Dr. Dyer’s new book, we decided to share with you the top 5 relationship excuses we hear so often from couples.

1. “We are too busy.” or “We don’t have enough time.” We hear this too often. We act and behave based on our values, thus what they are really saying is, “We are choosing to make other things (kids, work, etc.) a priority”. This could be one of the factors for such a high divorce rate.
2. “We are too tired.” This is definitely related with number 1. Today, people are so busy with everything else; they are not slowing down long enough to recharge their own batteries, so to speak. How can you give to anyone or anything, including your relationship, if you are not giving to yourself? This goes back to a saying discussed by Dr. Dyer, “You can’t give what you don’t have.”
3. “You shouldn’t have to work on relationships.” In fairytales maybe, but in real life, relationships do take effort and work. We would like to know who came up with this excuse. What in life does not take work and even effort to maintain? We work on and maintain our cars, houses, yards, etc. A relationship requires attention and effort on a daily basis. This relationship “work” however, doesn’t have to be bad or even hard.
4. “Why bother, he/she won’t change.” This excuse is putting all the power and responsibility on the other partner to change. Change can and does begin with you. Start focusing on the changes you need to make in the relationship. Sometimes when you make healthy relationship changes, it can help motivate your partner to make healthy relationship changes too.
5. “We don’t have the money.” We often hear this when people first call for information about our counseling/coaching services. Yes, we understand the economy and the increased concerns and worries about finances. However, what is the cost emotionally and financially of breaking up a relationship? Or the cost of a divorce, emotionally and financially? Change can happen by reading a relationship book, attending relationship workshops, or even attending counseling sessions. Thus, relationship change doesn’t have to break the bank.

What excuses are currently holding you back from having the kind of relationship you want to have? If you need help challenging these excuses, please feel free to contact us. As always, wishing you deeper connection and passion!

Tags: Relationship Health, Relationships
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