Posted by The Love Birds at 23 May , 2010

1. Having negative/self-defeating thoughts about sex – These negative/self-defeating thoughts can come from anywhere (i.e. from your childhood, religion, past sexual experiences, etc.) and can really affect your sexuality.  Remember, your thoughts cause your feelings and behaviors.  Thus, if you have negative thoughts about sex, you will have negative feelings about sex which will impact your sexual behavior. 

2. Focusing solely on performance and functioning – Too often, too much focus and emphasis is placed on sexual performance (such as “Am I doing this right?” or “Is this how it’s supposed to be done?”) and functioning (such as “I must have an erection every time.”, “I must make this last a long time.”, and “An orgasm has to happen every single time.”).   This can create undue pressure which can then, cause problems in your sexuality.  Remember, our bodies are not perfect and will not work perfectly all the time and in every situation.  Thus, expecting perfection in our sexual performance and functioning will only lead to frustration and disappointment (see number 1 above).  Instead, focus on the joy, fun and pleasure of sex.  

3. Not owning your sexuality - It’s so easy to make your partner responsible for your sexuality.  However, the truth is, YOU are responsible for your sexuality.  You are responsible for whether or not you have an orgasm.  It’s your responsibility to know your body and what feels good to you along with your sexual desires.  It’s also your responsibility to share your desires with your partner.  Making your partner responsible for your sexuality or even blaming your partner for sexual issues can create major problems in your relationship.

4. Not talking to your partner about sex – We are always amazed at how many people are comfortable having sex (in fact, lots of sex) but are uncomfortable talking about sex in this country.   It’s like there is an unspoken rule:  “Do it but don’t talk about it”.  If you can’t comfortably and openly talk to your partner about sex, then you probably shouldn’t be having sex. 

5. Not making sex a priority – Sadly, with many couples, sex is not a priority.  Even worse, the relationship itself is not even a priority.  Our favorite quote sums it up: “Where the attention goes, the energy flows”.  If you want a healthy sex life in your relationship, then put more attention and focus into it.  Make it a priority! 

Posted in: Couples , Desire , Passion , Sexuality | No Comments »

Posted by The Love Birds at 10 May , 2010

This month, as Cal Exotics Sexperts™, we were sent another great new product to review.   Each product will be rated, by our testers (a couple), using The Love Bird’s Feathers Rating Scale™:

 

1   = ”not so hot”  to

5   = “extremely hot”  

 

“The hotter the product is, the more feathers it will take to cool you off!” 

 

The new product we received is called Lia Magic Wand™.  This is a very gentle and nice looking vibrator.  It’s soft to the touch, flexible and seamless. But don’t let all of that fool you!  It has an “extreme power motor” that includes 10 functions of vibration, pulsation, and escalation.  It has 2 soft touch buttons (an EZ on/off button and a function button).  It is waterproof and unscented and has a sensual “G” contour.

The Lia Magic Wand™ is made of “pure silicone” and requires only 2 AA batteries.  The vibrator measures 6.5 inches long, 1.25 inches wide and weighs 3.60 oz.   The Lia Magic Wand™ comes in 3 colors to choose from: pink, white and purple.  It’s recommended that you use a water-based lubricant with this vibrator. 

So, what did our testers say?  Overall, they said they really liked the Lia Magic Wand™.  They liked the look and softness of this vibrator as well as the ease of use.  It’s non-threatening and has many uses (both vaginal and clitoral stimulation).  They also liked the fact that it’s waterproof, very light and flexible. 

Therefore, we gave it .   You will need all 5 feathers to help cool you off!

Posted in: Adult Toy and Product Reviews , Desire , Passion , Sexuality | No Comments »